There are things that we do not knowing people are actually watching every move. It has been 3 days since my soap opera ish drama and i am stil wishing the earth that never gets full would add me to its ingredients and just swallow me. So i walk into the office this fine monday. My eyes red as pepper from my inhouse indulgence. I have not even settled and my boss calls me to his office, i always know her greetings... Ray, have a seat... That was her way of saying that i have an appointment for you. This day it was different.
"Ray, how was your weekend?" She had this stupid grin on her face. I thought i heard her speak in greek! So i played dumb and just looked at her, actually i was staring at her. My eyes thought it is her i was staring at.
"Ray, i am up here. Please have a seat!"
That was a nice bust yaani! I got this dumb feeling in stomach and stupid in my head. As you know i am very soft spoken, i look all tough and strong but deep down i am not. So i sat down waiting for what was going to be my appointment.
"So Ray," she managed to get me off my zone. " what is this hulabaloo with Anna?"
I did not know what to say. I just nodded my head and cleared my throat.
"My daughter and i are not talking. So i need to give me info."
"I dont know what you are talking about." I mummered
I zoned out again and I just saw her lips move without hearing a word she was saying. My mind swayed away to the event of the weekend and really thought heard of what happened between Anna and I. How did she find out about my sexuality and who gave her info about me banging women. I thought maybe she saw me or heard noises emanating from my bedroom of the women i took home during my many escapades with her to which she used my couch. Maybe one of these nights are the nights that I banged her, or not.
When I came to, from my Zone out, i felt sick, and only heard of her last word. "You," I did not know what the hell she said. she stood up from her seat and moved closer to me and sat on the table facing me.
"Ray, I have always know there is something about you that has been drawing closer to you, and this attraction that I feel for you is just too much, and I realised how much I like you, the other day."
I looked at her in dismay and excused myself and without a word left her office and went to my desk. I wanted to call Anna and just talk to her. I realized I wanted her, I liked her more than anything. All this time i knew Anna, I was apparently hurting her. I just wanted to talk to her.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
LONELY NIGHTS
Amanda was happily married to Gabriel and had a very beautiful daughter, Anna. Things were perfect when Anna was still a toddler, happy people, smiley faces, perfect family it was. Amanda could not wish for more. 23 years later, Anna now 20 and the mum 41 life changed. Gabriel was not home and Anna was always out somewhere with God knows who, with what was going on in her family, she indulged in booze, smokin weed and staying up late. Amanda became so lonely, staying in the big house alone. Spending cold nyts by herslf. Making dinner and serving herself. The lonely nights became too much for her as she was mostly at home alone. For a good night Gabriel would come home but he did not have time for his wife nor his daughter Anna, and if Anna came home, she was mainly licked up in her room doing something on her laptop or listening to music. The good thing about Anna was that she was at the top of her class scoring A's in every subject. Anna was a good girl but what was happenning to her and her family was really bringing her down.
Amanda now a lonely forty something year old woman decided that life began at forty and she was not going to get old in her house without some exitement in her life. She started joining dating sites to find young men who would satisfy her sexually, and for her to spoil. It was an A game for her as actually with her beauty, brains andmoney she got away with anything. What Amanda did not know was that her daughter was my drinking mate, and what they both did not know was that I love women, sexually, an I am not a relationship type. I sometimes feel that Anna knows as i get freaky when drunk but since she has never asked me, well, to me she does not know a thing. On the other hand, Alex, my work mate knows. ALex and I have had an encounter before, i used to sleep with his wife, on his bed and it was mostly when he was out of town working and I was letf with the pretty young wife to myself. I knew his schedule, when he leaves and when he is expected home. On the occation of our encounter he was meant to give his wife a suprise, but he got the suprise to himself, coming home unexpectedly, late at night and comes straight to the bedroom to give the wife a suprise sexotime, asnd instead, when he opened the door i was busy going down on his wife, that is the pussy he was meant to be sexercising with, my hands got so cold that and my feet froze, my throat became dry and all i could think was the major fight at that tine and tomorrow at the office. i was suprised when Alex got a major hard on and demanded that we continue, after that turn off I could not so i asked him to give sometime to bring my head together, and I as i waited to, he started getting busy with his wife telling her how he so wanted her more, now that he knows he gets banged by women too. i left that house and left those two love birds to what they do best.
Amanda on the other hand is the director, Windsdale Telecommunication, i was her personal assistant. One evening after work aAmanda called me to his office, the call was quite casual and it being a friday evening most guys had left work early. I love the TGIF at work, we given liberty to leave work an hour early. Alex on the other hand was calling me nonstop and texting me to meet him at his place, Anna, my bosses daughter and drug mate was asking me where the action would be and now my boss is calling me to her office.
"Have a sit Ray," she started, " what are your plans for the evening?" i was just going to answer her honestly when she interrupted me as i sit.
"I want you to drive me somewhere, Its a local club in town and I am meeting someone. i will be wasted by the time I am done so am designating you as my driver."
What? My mind was racing, I am drug addict unlike you, I get wasted more than you do, how do you expect me to drive you home? How do expect me to be sober on a bllody Friday night? Are you serious?
I had no time to say no, she threw the keys to me and asked me to meet her at the parking bay.
On my way out I called Anna and told her that I was driving my boss somewhere so we could do our drinking fest the following day or after i drive my boss back home. So she decides to go ahead with her shool; mates and i would join them later, now that I have a ride. What she did not know is that her mum is my boss, freaky, i know.
We ended up in some club in Westlands, I was thinking, how do I avoid spanking women here in presence of my boss, and how do I take sprite and cigarettes alone. Well it was a something i would try but not promise. So i got off the drivers sit and went round to open for my boss. Then I heard this voice yelling at me....
"Ray, what the hell are you doing? That is my mums car!"
I did not have time to turn and look who it was, too bad for my slow and unreacting ego, by the time I noticed Anna, slaps were hailing on my face and this time my face was red hot. I was going to speak then she cut me short.
"now you fucking my mum too? Ray what is wrong with you, is this the boss you said you driving somewhere, in a club? Are you serious Ray, tell me what was last weekend all about? You want to blame it on the alcohol? Say something Ray."
I am not fucking your mumu, she is meeting someone in here and my work is to drive her home safe, and whatever happened to us last weekend i do not remember, we were both wasted and I wish we could do it sober. I would have said that but what came out of my mouth was "What should I answer first?"
Amanda now a lonely forty something year old woman decided that life began at forty and she was not going to get old in her house without some exitement in her life. She started joining dating sites to find young men who would satisfy her sexually, and for her to spoil. It was an A game for her as actually with her beauty, brains andmoney she got away with anything. What Amanda did not know was that her daughter was my drinking mate, and what they both did not know was that I love women, sexually, an I am not a relationship type. I sometimes feel that Anna knows as i get freaky when drunk but since she has never asked me, well, to me she does not know a thing. On the other hand, Alex, my work mate knows. ALex and I have had an encounter before, i used to sleep with his wife, on his bed and it was mostly when he was out of town working and I was letf with the pretty young wife to myself. I knew his schedule, when he leaves and when he is expected home. On the occation of our encounter he was meant to give his wife a suprise, but he got the suprise to himself, coming home unexpectedly, late at night and comes straight to the bedroom to give the wife a suprise sexotime, asnd instead, when he opened the door i was busy going down on his wife, that is the pussy he was meant to be sexercising with, my hands got so cold that and my feet froze, my throat became dry and all i could think was the major fight at that tine and tomorrow at the office. i was suprised when Alex got a major hard on and demanded that we continue, after that turn off I could not so i asked him to give sometime to bring my head together, and I as i waited to, he started getting busy with his wife telling her how he so wanted her more, now that he knows he gets banged by women too. i left that house and left those two love birds to what they do best.
Amanda on the other hand is the director, Windsdale Telecommunication, i was her personal assistant. One evening after work aAmanda called me to his office, the call was quite casual and it being a friday evening most guys had left work early. I love the TGIF at work, we given liberty to leave work an hour early. Alex on the other hand was calling me nonstop and texting me to meet him at his place, Anna, my bosses daughter and drug mate was asking me where the action would be and now my boss is calling me to her office.
"Have a sit Ray," she started, " what are your plans for the evening?" i was just going to answer her honestly when she interrupted me as i sit.
"I want you to drive me somewhere, Its a local club in town and I am meeting someone. i will be wasted by the time I am done so am designating you as my driver."
What? My mind was racing, I am drug addict unlike you, I get wasted more than you do, how do you expect me to drive you home? How do expect me to be sober on a bllody Friday night? Are you serious?
I had no time to say no, she threw the keys to me and asked me to meet her at the parking bay.
On my way out I called Anna and told her that I was driving my boss somewhere so we could do our drinking fest the following day or after i drive my boss back home. So she decides to go ahead with her shool; mates and i would join them later, now that I have a ride. What she did not know is that her mum is my boss, freaky, i know.
We ended up in some club in Westlands, I was thinking, how do I avoid spanking women here in presence of my boss, and how do I take sprite and cigarettes alone. Well it was a something i would try but not promise. So i got off the drivers sit and went round to open for my boss. Then I heard this voice yelling at me....
"Ray, what the hell are you doing? That is my mums car!"
I did not have time to turn and look who it was, too bad for my slow and unreacting ego, by the time I noticed Anna, slaps were hailing on my face and this time my face was red hot. I was going to speak then she cut me short.
"now you fucking my mum too? Ray what is wrong with you, is this the boss you said you driving somewhere, in a club? Are you serious Ray, tell me what was last weekend all about? You want to blame it on the alcohol? Say something Ray."
I am not fucking your mumu, she is meeting someone in here and my work is to drive her home safe, and whatever happened to us last weekend i do not remember, we were both wasted and I wish we could do it sober. I would have said that but what came out of my mouth was "What should I answer first?"
Sunday, October 16, 2011
BRING BACK THE MAIL
I have began this tight schedule and at some point i missed writing, this is a coming back post and wanna put a schedule where I shall be writing like I used to.
While writing this, the ghost face of my past is staring at me making me feel quite uncomfortable, feeling the lesbian me getting exposed naked in front of a multi-crowd like i was exposed in the past. The good thing about this is that the feeling is really good as compared to the past and as I look at the ghost face, its really disappointed and I am smiling at it and giving it "that look." I can hear voices in my head singing victory songs as my heart is pounding with excitement upon getting back to my swag. Well sorry Ghost face, that is when Karma gets back at you.
Well, i really hate the thought of people who hurt me in that past but am thankful for them as well since, the hurt that they caused actually brought me blessings and meeting new peoples in return that warm my heart.
It was just the other day (when i say the other day I talk of last year kuendelea), I could have dejavu's of my ex, her face, her voice and all that isht we did and I could get a panic attack, my heart racing at a very high speed, my throat getting chocked for lack of air and my feet trembled to the thought of what we had. Now I am talking of a different story here, I can have those dejavu's of my ex and i ( mind you 4 and a half years is a long time leaving with someone and sharing almost everything) and feel nothing, in fact I thank heavens for the new life bestowed as I fought those ghosts laughing at me for over two years and I never thought it would get to a point that I will be laughing at the ghost face and actually mock it for the pain I went through in the two years of my break up with m ex. I loved this woman with every fiber of my being and the heartbreak was just too much to bare.
Now almost three years down the line, I meet this beautiful woman that my eyes have ever seen and my soul has actually connected with, she brought so much joy into my life that the ghost face felt threatened and started to back off slowly until now, the far it can go is stare at me writing my blog happilly with its tail in between its legs.
I have brought back my voodoo, brought back my mail and now wait to get served. (Remember that story?)
While writing this, the ghost face of my past is staring at me making me feel quite uncomfortable, feeling the lesbian me getting exposed naked in front of a multi-crowd like i was exposed in the past. The good thing about this is that the feeling is really good as compared to the past and as I look at the ghost face, its really disappointed and I am smiling at it and giving it "that look." I can hear voices in my head singing victory songs as my heart is pounding with excitement upon getting back to my swag. Well sorry Ghost face, that is when Karma gets back at you.
Well, i really hate the thought of people who hurt me in that past but am thankful for them as well since, the hurt that they caused actually brought me blessings and meeting new peoples in return that warm my heart.
It was just the other day (when i say the other day I talk of last year kuendelea), I could have dejavu's of my ex, her face, her voice and all that isht we did and I could get a panic attack, my heart racing at a very high speed, my throat getting chocked for lack of air and my feet trembled to the thought of what we had. Now I am talking of a different story here, I can have those dejavu's of my ex and i ( mind you 4 and a half years is a long time leaving with someone and sharing almost everything) and feel nothing, in fact I thank heavens for the new life bestowed as I fought those ghosts laughing at me for over two years and I never thought it would get to a point that I will be laughing at the ghost face and actually mock it for the pain I went through in the two years of my break up with m ex. I loved this woman with every fiber of my being and the heartbreak was just too much to bare.
Now almost three years down the line, I meet this beautiful woman that my eyes have ever seen and my soul has actually connected with, she brought so much joy into my life that the ghost face felt threatened and started to back off slowly until now, the far it can go is stare at me writing my blog happilly with its tail in between its legs.
I have brought back my voodoo, brought back my mail and now wait to get served. (Remember that story?)
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