I have began this tight schedule and at some point i missed writing, this is a coming back post and wanna put a schedule where I shall be writing like I used to.
While writing this, the ghost face of my past is staring at me making me feel quite uncomfortable, feeling the lesbian me getting exposed naked in front of a multi-crowd like i was exposed in the past. The good thing about this is that the feeling is really good as compared to the past and as I look at the ghost face, its really disappointed and I am smiling at it and giving it "that look." I can hear voices in my head singing victory songs as my heart is pounding with excitement upon getting back to my swag. Well sorry Ghost face, that is when Karma gets back at you.
Well, i really hate the thought of people who hurt me in that past but am thankful for them as well since, the hurt that they caused actually brought me blessings and meeting new peoples in return that warm my heart.
It was just the other day (when i say the other day I talk of last year kuendelea), I could have dejavu's of my ex, her face, her voice and all that isht we did and I could get a panic attack, my heart racing at a very high speed, my throat getting chocked for lack of air and my feet trembled to the thought of what we had. Now I am talking of a different story here, I can have those dejavu's of my ex and i ( mind you 4 and a half years is a long time leaving with someone and sharing almost everything) and feel nothing, in fact I thank heavens for the new life bestowed as I fought those ghosts laughing at me for over two years and I never thought it would get to a point that I will be laughing at the ghost face and actually mock it for the pain I went through in the two years of my break up with m ex. I loved this woman with every fiber of my being and the heartbreak was just too much to bare.
Now almost three years down the line, I meet this beautiful woman that my eyes have ever seen and my soul has actually connected with, she brought so much joy into my life that the ghost face felt threatened and started to back off slowly until now, the far it can go is stare at me writing my blog happilly with its tail in between its legs.
I have brought back my voodoo, brought back my mail and now wait to get served. (Remember that story?)