THIS IS IT

It has been a while since my last post. Anna and I have been away from social media to celebrate our new found relationship. So much has happened in the 9 months we have been away. Anna has stood by me through thick and thin and now that we finally tied the note, we have alot of drama and sexy stories for your reading. We discovered something new and i guess that is what i will start off with. After our wedding last December on my birthday, it was closed, friends and family only private event. Anna and I left for Zanzibar where we were for 2 months before coming back home to start the process of family. We want to have at least 2 children, one from me and one from her, same donor if possible. Before i tell you about our escapades and wedding, let me start from where i left off. After Anna and Alexie broke up, Anna moved in with me, permanently. A few weeks before our wedding, we visited Alexie, as i was driving there, Anna was quite paranoid, she never knew the reception we would get but i assured her of the positive side of our visit. I told her everything will be ok. When we got to Alexies gate, the watchman opened the gate for us and at that moment, i saw something different in Annas eyes. My right hand was steering and my left was still holding the gear handle, Anna held my hand and squeezed it, I looked at her and saw her tensed eyes, watery and her cute face turned pink and i knew this was fear. I never said a word nor did i react to her look, I slowly parked the car a few meters from the gate. I looked at Anna, held both her chics, kissed her sofly on her tensed lips and said "Is ok babe, I am with you, things will be fine." She did not respond but her face lit up instantly and we both smiled. There were four houses in the compound, all four storey. Alexies house was on the third flour of the second flat, second house on the right. Anna made me lead the way as she advised me on where to go. I rang the bell to Alexies door and for the first time, i felt a shiver. The 5 minutes we waited at the door seem a whole hour, we were both silent, trying not to look scared. I heard the door knob click then it turned and opened the door, there she was, Alexie. She did not know who I was, when she saw Anna, her face turned red. She let us in without a word. I was the last to enter, Anna walked straight to the sitting room and stood next to the coat stand, Alexie's house was very beautiful, Anna looked at me and asked me to sit down. Alexie on the other hand did not know how to react, she walked slowly to where Anna was standing and held her tightly. I swallowed hard and looked the other way. "Alexie," I heard Anna call her. "This is going to be hard so i need you to let me go and sit down." Alexie reciprocated and sat down, this time giving me a stare and ofcourse this scared me. I mean Alexie looks like a boy, she is a real butch and looked very strong. My heart missed a beat, my face had a very brave look but i did not care. "Alexie," Anna called again. "Shit happened between us, I moved on and I hope you too. I just came to pick my things and leave you in peace." Alexie did not respond, she showed her the way to the bedroom of which Anna looked at me and asked me to follow, but i declined. Anna shrugged her shoulders and went to the room. I was left to face Alexie by myself and I did not know how to deal with it. We sat in silence, Alexie looking at me from the corner of her eyes, i was staring at the movie on the screen even though my head was not there A few minutes later, which looked like eternity, Anna came back with a suitcase and a laptop bag. I stood up to help my wife to be with the luggage. Alexie on seeing this, she sprout from her sit and said, "I will do that." I let her take the suitcase handle, I took Annas laptop bag and started walking to the door. "Anna," Alexie Called just before she held the door knob. "This is it?" "Yes Alexie, this is it." Then she opened the door. "Wait Alexie, can we talk about this?" Alexie was now sounding desparet and depressed. Anna looked at me hoping that I will say something. I did not, I stood there in silence waiting to see the next move. Anna walked towards Alexie, hugged her and kissed her cheek. She took the suit case handle and wheeled the suitcase towards me and handed it to me. "Alexie, I am getting married. This is Rayrae my patner. You need to move on too." With that we both left and went to the car. I was busy packing the stuff in my car when Alexie came to the balcony. She did not say anything, Anna and I got into the car and drove off. "Babe, you were stronger than me in there, you know that?" I said as i smiled at her. "Yea babe, its because you were there, otherwise, it would have been different." "How different?" I asked. "You know I have a past with her, and not an interesting one, I am still bitter at her and I wanted this to be as peaceful as it can be. She would try to get me back, I would refuse then we start another fight. I did not want that." With that I took her hand and kissed the back of her hand. Music playing on the radio, both of us singing along to our favorite hits, making fun of the days events and gladly said goodbye to the day as we drove in our drive way. Anna with all exitement dushed off to open the gate and our main door, she the disappeared to the house. I was left to close the gate and take her stuff inside. I wheeled the suitcase to the house and carried it up the stairs to our room, she was already naked and kneeling on the bed. I got turned on immediately. "Woman, am gonna do nasty things to you." I said, trying to make my voice deep. "Come on babe, I am all yours."

WIERD MOMENTS!!!

Its been four days since Anne came to my house. Her body is taking shape from the beating she got from her girlfriend, Alexie. I have been having the urge to beat her up senseless but it aint worth it, Anna has been avoiding her calls and text messages. She told me that this has been the order of the day, Alexie beats her up, Anna runs away and Alexie comes back for her, this time she says she is done. She sleeps in my bed, comes to the bedroom naked and there is no one point i ever touched her, i bathed her on the first day she came and i wonder, i spent seven monthd trying to be faithful to girl who has been in my life and left because i treated her bad, now i have a chance with her but i can‘t look at her. Damn!!! I really need to get my act right or else...

Anna on her side was leaving as though we were married, i could get home from work and find dinner ready, the house clean and she was locked in my room covered with papers, books and pens, studying, filling her brains with information that will not really help her in future but for her exams and certificate, she needed that. I remember back in campus, that was me, studying so hard for my programming exams, yea computer programming, i was such a geek, spectacles, bag filled with books, books on my hands and the library was my best friend. This is how i met Anna, we were the best of friends, she was always in my hostel room. With my solutide, i chose a room for one and it was paid for, for a whole year, hence i never missed my room for a whole semister.  I was glad that Anna was taking shape, she was eating like she was pregnant, but am glad she was.

This particular day i got home at around 23:00 hours, she was really scared and as i was driving home, she kept on calling asking where i am, i thought Alexie found her. I rushed up the stairs to my house, opened the door frantically and rushed to my room, she was burried in her books, her phone directly infront of her, earphones plugged in her ears and so she did not hear me burst inside, i tapped her shoulder and she sprung off the bed jumped on me and hugged me like i was gone for years. I looked at her and as i was trying to get answers from her eyes, she pulled me and started kissing me, crazy kissing. Then it came, what i was looking for, something that will make me want her like i dreamt of her. I reciprocated, lifted her off her feet, laid her on the bed, books pushed aside to give us room to get indulged.

Anna wanted to be on top, i wanted to be on top and with all the fighting, tossing and turning, we both fell on the other side of the bed, i was on top and i thought i hurt her, but no, her legs crossed around my waiste, her hands covering her face, she burst out laughing. Awwwww... she was looking so cute and edible and all i was thinking of was how to get her off those jeans she was wearing.

I lifted her and got her back to bed, she was still as light as a feather, i could feel my groove getting back on and i couldnt wait to devor this amazing creature on my bed.  I pinned her down, held both hands above her head and with my other hand, i unbuttoned her top and unclipped her bra, thank God the clip was at the front, easy as ABC, and there they were, the cutest, finest, edible round melon shaped twins. Wanted to burry my head between them, but i took time to study them, i slowly let go of her hands as i kissed her full pink lips, she was now holding on to my head, not wanting to let go of me, its like she wanted me to stay here and i wanted go down.

Moments later i managed to pull of my head and burried it between the gorgious twins, she was moaning in pleasure and there was no way i was goin to stop, i unzipped her jeans, took it off and amazingly, she had no panty and i found a river between her legs, she really wanted me, it was not easy for her to get wet unless the foreplay was really long, i felt the wetness, she was opening, my lips working her left nipple, i know how sensitive it was, i didnt wanna stop, i wanted to go on and on and on ... her wetness, her wetness made me wanna go deeper into her, i went down on her, kissing her belly, flat belly with a red belly ring that matched her African light skin, the lips, the lips between her legs were calling out for me, wanting me to eat them alive. My tongue working her clit as i took moments to drink up her juice, Damn!!! I missed this,  my finger thrustin in and out of her, my tongue rubbing her clit.... meeeeeeen!!! Heavenly bliss, i could feel her tighten and i knew this was the moment, for a moment i thought am gonna kill her, she was screaming at God knows who n within a few seconds, she let out one big moan gurshing all her waters on my face, she looked helpless on the bed, so i covered her and held her to sleep.

That Long???

This was one of the days I could stay indoors and lock myself inside, either take my glass of whisky and stare blankly at some movie, not knowing what the hell is happening, not even aware of the story line. Well, this day was quiet different, ever since I left Amanda's Company and joined a competitor, I lost contact with her completely, Anna could text me once in a while. The last time we spoke, Anna was dating some butch from her school; I was happy for her but deep inside I felt a certain pain that I guess the reality was kicking in at this moment. I really wished I could hold Anna again, talk to her, look deep in her eyes and tell her something I had never told her before, want to tell her that I loved her and all the shit I did to her is unforgivable but I hope she forgives me. I wanted to look at her beautiful face, see her glowing smile and twinkling eyes. This combination is something I will never erase from my head. This day was a day that I did most of my laundry, ever since I started working, I never did my laundry, I never cooked in my house, always eating out, I never cleaned my house, Hired someone to do all that. I was either too high or too wasted to do all that and my working days were my working days, nothing but work. Once I was done with the clothes and made my late lunch, all I wanted was some soft music as I enjoyed my late lunch. I served a piece of dry fried chicken and spiced rice, I love spices, sat on my couch in devoured the serving on my plate, I love my food hot, spicy hot, so I can do that ‘Ha ha ho ho hu hu’ thing trying to cool down the heat. In the midst of my ‘HU HA HU HU’, ideas started flowing in, I really wanted to write, I could see words (Literally), shooting like shooting stars, I put my food aside, went to my room, picked my laptop and went back to the couch, so as I was writing, I could scoop my food at every break, especially when reading through. I got engrossed in the story, I could not hear my surrounding, then, just then, a felt something vibrate, the first thought that came to my mind was Anna. Anna could turn on the vibrator while I was busy working, on occasions like these, when I became too busy for her, she made sure I would get some time for her. OK, they might be countable times but now I cherish those moments, the sound of the vibrator would turn me on in an instance and I would jump onto the bed and really give it to her good. One thing I always remember about Anna and her craziness was that she could get wet the moment a kissed her. Kissing Anna was the best thing ever happened to me, her soft full lips, her soft hands pulling my short dreadz, back then, yes, short dreadz, I love the her tongue would slowly creep in my mouth and start rolling it inside tickling my throat. I was just coming out of my zone when the vibration stopped, well I shrugged my shoulders and went back to writing. Again the vibrator started again and this time I was so sure it was not in my head, I never keep my toys in the living room so I stood up to see my phone on the TV stand vibrating its way on one end of the stand, well, told you, it was not in my head. I picked the call and I swore I could recognize that voice, I could hear this voice and I was so certain, I knew it. “Hey Ray” said the voice. “Anna!” I exclaimed, she was the only person who knew how to call my name. “I was just checking on you, how you knew it’s me?” she asked “I can never forget that voice, are you Ok” “No am not. I need to see you. How can I see you? You moved out I came looking for you but you weren’t there?” I felt her voice shaking, I felt her cry on the other side, I wanted to rush there and just hug her and talk to her, hold her in my arms and take the pain away. “Where are you right now?” I asked “I am at my girlfriend’s house” ‘Then why the hell are you calling me now after so long?’ I almost said that out aloud but I asked her to meet me up at a club, four blocks away from where I stayed, It was a walking distance and so I left the house when she said she was almost. I carried my laptop to keep me company as I waited. When I got there she had not yet arrived and so I started writing my blog as I puffed my smoke slowly, enjoying the ambience of writing out, taking breaks and looking at the environment as though it was talking to me. There she was, Anna, my Anna, but there was something different, her walking was slow, her eyes were swollen, her soft full lips were swollen and bruised, her face was not the same, she was carrying a back pack and when she saw me she dropped her bad and tried to leap towards me, then I noticed she was in pain. I rushed to her and held her before she fell, took her bag and sat her down next to me. I could see the pain in her eyes, she wanted to cry and at the same time she was holding her tears back. Without a word I paid my bill, took her hand and walked her slowly outside the club. “You never stopped smoking?” she broke the silence in midst of her tears, the tears she was trying to hold back. “There are some habits we do not just stop,” I said with a fake smile. “Then I guess you still the player you were”. I knew where she was going to, “who did this to you?” She did not reply, but instead she broke down and let her tears out. I had never seen Anna cry this much, when I hurt her, I did not see this side of her. I stopped the nearest cab I saw and took her to my house. We said no word to each other, even when we got to the house. It was very sad to see her sad and in pain, I prepared her hot bath, bubbled some mint in it for her to just soak the pain away, I wish there was something I could do. I took her to my room, undressed and her took her to the bathroom, she immersed herself, full body, in the water and when she came back up, she asked me to stay a while. Bad idea, I left the bathroom, locked the main door, went back to the bathroom and locked the door.

BAD AS IT IS!

I was there, knocking at the door to my boss' main house. I forgot a door bell exists. Standing there frantically calling Amanda's name, i could hear some movements in the house and i knew she was there. Then when i was almost giving up i heard the door knob click. The door swang open and there she was, standing in her bath rob, hair dripping wet like she was soaked in the bathtab. She looked beautiful as ever and i wanted to jump on her and just do bad things to her, but the suspense that was there was too visible that i could not attempt doing that, so we stared at each other and i did not know what to say.
"Please come in." she said, i tumbled a bit on the stares and she giggled, and then i felt things were not as bad as i thought. Well, I was in the house already, watching her walk to her room, I wanted to follow her, but i felt it was too much of a hustle so I sat on the couch that was next to the stares to the first floor of the house. i stared at her as she disappeared in her room. A few minutes later she came back mumbling something and shouted " What are you still doing down there, why dont you come up?" Ok now this was my chance to pour my heart out to her.

As I entered her bedroom, her gown as down on the floor, she was naked on her bed, pretending to apply some lotion on her body, then she gives me the bottle and without a word she lies on her stomach, I did not know what to do with the bottle on my hand. did she want me to shove it up her A***? Well, i did what came to my mind second, Put some of the content on my palm and went on top of her, legs astride across her buttocks and i started to apply the lotion on her back. Her soft skin lost me, I imagined doing some bad things to her, bad things that made women follow me to my house, whether drunk or not, bad things that make these women fight for me, bad things that made women want to call me in the middle of the night when am doing bad things to another woman, but this woman was special and if I could do those things to her then those bad things would be bad in a special way.

i cannot tell what happened during my expedition through her back, i saw her turn to me and pulled me towards her, she started kissing me and i was all over her, I was doing those bad things to her that are too special for me to show off. My head was spinning as my beast was coming out to her, she was screaming my name over and over and over until that things happened. Some hot gash of air was splashed over my face...O gOsH!!!!! ! I wanted more of that, as I was coming to, I was welcomed with a very hard slap on my face and she asked me to leave her bedroom!!!!

I was thrown out like a mad dog, tumbling down the stares, when i got to the couch, she was behind me, throwing my jacket to me, and next was my bag, opened the door and shouted to me. I did not want to be embarrassed, i ran out of the door, took the next taxi and went home.

I did not try to call her, even though I wanted to.

FINDING ME

There are things that we do not knowing people are actually watching every move. It has been 3 days since my soap opera ish drama and i am stil wishing the earth that never gets full would add me to its ingredients and just swallow me. So i walk into the office this fine monday. My eyes red as pepper from my inhouse indulgence. I have not even settled and my boss calls me to his office, i always know her greetings... Ray, have a seat... That was her way of saying that i have an appointment for you. This day it was different.
"Ray, how was your weekend?" She had this stupid grin on her face. I thought i heard her speak in greek! So i played dumb and just looked at her, actually i was staring at her. My eyes thought it is her i was staring at.
"Ray, i am up here. Please have a seat!"
That was a nice bust yaani! I got this dumb feeling in stomach and stupid in my head. As you know i am very soft spoken, i look all tough and strong but deep down i am not. So i sat down waiting for what was going to be my appointment.
"So Ray," she managed to get me off my zone. " what is this hulabaloo with Anna?"
I did not know what to say. I just nodded my head and cleared my throat.
"My daughter and i are not talking. So i need to give me info."
"I dont know what you are talking about." I mummered
I zoned out again and I just saw her lips move without hearing a word she was saying. My mind swayed away to the event of the weekend and really thought heard of what happened between Anna and I. How did she find out about my sexuality and who gave her info about me banging women. I thought maybe she saw me or heard noises emanating from my bedroom of the women i took home during my many escapades with her to which she used my couch. Maybe one of these nights are the nights that I banged her, or not.
When I came to, from my Zone out, i felt sick, and only heard of her last word. "You," I did not know what the hell she said. she stood up from her seat and moved closer to me and sat on the table facing me.
"Ray, I have always know there is something about you that has been drawing closer to you, and this attraction that I feel for you is just too much, and I realised how much I like you, the other day."
I looked at her in dismay and excused myself and without a word left her office and went to my desk. I wanted to call Anna and just talk to her. I realized I wanted her, I liked her more than anything. All this time i knew Anna, I was apparently hurting her. I just wanted to talk to her.

LONELY NIGHTS

Amanda was happily married to Gabriel and had a very beautiful daughter, Anna. Things were perfect when Anna was still a toddler, happy people, smiley faces, perfect family it was. Amanda could not wish for more. 23 years later, Anna now 20 and the mum 41 life changed. Gabriel was not home and Anna was always out somewhere with God knows who, with what was going on in her family, she indulged in booze, smokin weed and staying up late. Amanda became so lonely, staying in the big house alone. Spending cold nyts by herslf. Making dinner and serving herself. The lonely nights became too much for her as she was mostly at home alone. For a good night Gabriel would come home but he did not have time for his wife nor his daughter Anna, and if Anna came home, she was mainly licked up in her room doing something on her laptop or listening to music. The good thing about Anna was that she was at the top of her class scoring A's in every subject. Anna was a good girl but what was happenning to her and her family was really bringing her down.

Amanda now a lonely forty something year old woman decided that life began at forty and she was not going to get old in her house without some exitement in her life. She started joining dating sites to find young men who would satisfy her sexually, and for her to spoil. It was an A game for her as actually with her beauty, brains andmoney she got away with anything. What Amanda did not know was that her daughter was my drinking mate, and what they both did not know was that I love women, sexually, an I am not a relationship type. I sometimes feel that Anna knows as i get freaky when drunk but since she has never asked me, well, to me she does not know a thing. On the other hand, Alex, my work mate knows. ALex and I have had an encounter before, i used to sleep with his wife, on his bed and it was mostly when he was out of town working and I was letf with the pretty young wife to myself. I knew his schedule, when he leaves and when he is expected home. On the occation of our encounter he was meant to give his wife a suprise, but he got the suprise to himself, coming home unexpectedly, late at night and comes straight to the bedroom to give the wife a suprise sexotime, asnd instead, when he opened the door i was busy going down on his wife, that is the pussy he was meant to be sexercising with, my hands got so cold that and my feet froze, my throat became dry and all i could think was the major fight at that tine and tomorrow at the office. i was suprised when Alex got a major hard on and demanded that we continue, after that turn off I could not so i asked him to give sometime to bring my head together, and I as i waited to, he started getting busy with his wife telling her how he so wanted her more, now that he knows he gets banged by women too. i left that house and left those two love birds to what they do best.
Amanda on the other hand is the director, Windsdale Telecommunication, i was her personal assistant. One evening after work aAmanda called me to his office, the call was quite casual and it being a friday evening most guys had left work early. I love the TGIF at work, we given liberty to leave work an hour early. Alex on the other hand was calling me nonstop and texting me to meet him at his place, Anna, my bosses daughter and drug mate was asking me where the action would be and now my boss is calling me to her office.
"Have a sit Ray," she started, " what are your plans for the evening?" i was just going to answer her honestly when she interrupted me as i sit.
"I want you to drive me somewhere, Its a local club in town and I am meeting someone. i will be wasted by the time I am done so am designating you as my driver."
What? My mind was racing, I am drug addict unlike you, I get wasted more than you do, how do you expect me to drive you home? How do expect me to be sober on a bllody Friday night? Are you serious?
I had no time to say no, she threw the keys to me and asked me to meet her at the parking bay.

On my way out I called Anna and told her that I was driving my boss somewhere so we could do our drinking fest the following day or after i drive my boss back home. So she decides to go ahead with her shool; mates and i would join them later, now that I have a ride. What she did not know is that her mum is my boss, freaky, i know.

We ended up in some club in Westlands, I was thinking, how do I avoid spanking women here in presence of my boss, and how do I take sprite and cigarettes alone. Well it was a something i would try but not promise. So i got off the drivers sit and went round to open for my boss. Then I heard this voice yelling at me....
"Ray, what the hell are you doing? That is my mums car!"
I did not have time to turn and look who it was, too bad for my slow and unreacting ego, by the time I noticed Anna, slaps were hailing on my face and this time my face was red hot. I was going to speak then she cut me short.

"now you fucking my mum too? Ray what is wrong with you, is this the boss you said you driving somewhere, in a club? Are you serious Ray, tell me what was last weekend all about? You want to blame it on the alcohol? Say something Ray."

I am not fucking your mumu, she is meeting someone in here and my work is to drive her home safe, and whatever happened to us last weekend i do not remember, we were both wasted and I wish we could do it sober. I would have said that but what came out of my mouth was "What should I answer first?"

BRING BACK THE MAIL

I have began this tight schedule and at some point i missed writing, this is a coming back post and wanna put a schedule where I shall be writing like I used to.
While writing this, the ghost face of my past is staring at me making me feel quite uncomfortable, feeling the lesbian me getting exposed naked in front of a multi-crowd like i was exposed in the past. The good thing about this is that the feeling is really good as compared to the past and as I look at the ghost face, its really disappointed and I am smiling at it and giving it "that look." I can hear voices in my head singing victory songs as my heart is pounding with excitement upon getting back to my swag. Well sorry Ghost face, that is when Karma gets back at you.

Well, i really hate the thought of people who hurt me in that past but am thankful for them as well since, the hurt that they caused actually brought me blessings and meeting new peoples in return that warm my heart.

It was just the other day (when i say the other day I talk of last year kuendelea), I could have dejavu's of my ex, her face, her voice and all that isht we did and I could get a panic attack, my heart racing at a very high speed, my throat getting chocked for lack of air and my feet trembled to the thought of what we had. Now I am talking of a different story here, I can have those dejavu's of my ex and i ( mind you 4 and a half years is a long time leaving with someone and sharing almost everything) and feel nothing, in fact I thank heavens for the new life bestowed as I fought those ghosts laughing at me for over two years and I never thought it would get to a point that I will be laughing at the ghost face and actually mock it for the pain I went through in the two years of my break up with m ex. I loved this woman with every fiber of my being and the heartbreak was just too much to bare.

Now almost three years down the line, I meet this beautiful woman that my eyes have ever seen and my soul has actually connected with, she brought so much joy into my life that the ghost face felt threatened and started to back off slowly until now, the far it can go is stare at me writing my blog happilly with its tail in between its legs.

I have brought back my voodoo, brought back my mail and now wait to get served. (Remember that story?)